Housepest
You know back in highschool or in college, when you sleep over at a friend's house, and you're so careful and polite to the point that you can't move so much (especially when your friend's parents are around)? Well, turn that thing topsey-turvey, and you have me right now. My incredibly annoying, alcoholic, cigarette-addicted uncle is staying over with us this week - and I am at the end of my line! Check my Big Fat Filipino Family post, he's the stupid drunk who outed me to our other relatives.
I woke up at 5:30 this morning becase I had classes at 8:30 and it usually takes me an hour++ to take a bath and dress up, and another hour to get to school (the remaining 30-45 minutes, I spend at the department checking papers >.<). He woke up at around five, and by the time I got upstairs, he was already on his 3rd (?) cigarette and three-quarters of his way down his first bottle of beer! MY GOD! At 5:30 in the morning on a typical day, this old man has already drunk and smoked what I drink and smoke over the course of a year!
In addition to this, he asks me and my brother to buy his beer for him - my booger brother has to go down 5 storeys just to buy it for him! The nerve! And he is soooooooooo spoiled he doesn't clean up after himself. He eats supper really late and he called me just so I could clear his plates for him! THE NERVE!!!! Inirapan ko nga!
And he keeps smoking those dreadful cigarettes inside the house, so the entire third floor smells like a fucking bar during happy hour! I couldn't stand it! I stood from the couch (while watching Desperate Housewives) and opened the door so, at least, some relatively fresh air could come into the house. When he remarked that I left the door open, I looked at my mom and said I couldn't breathe! I've been sort of ill the past month, I've been coughing steadily (as my Echoes co-members and students would be able to note clearly), and my condition's only started to improve the past weekend. Now, my asthma is back, and my breathing is shallow again - translation: I CANNOT SING!!!!!!!!!!! WAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!! And my uncle had the guts to pretend as if he didn't notice I had been coughing the entire night! AS IF!!! Ganoon ka ba talaga ka-tanga?? I mean, I know you failed the Law Bar Exams twice, (count that TWICE! 2x! Not just once, TWO (2) Times!!!), but really?
I swear, there is something extremely wrong about this person. He is stingy as hell, he wouldn't give my brother pamasahe to buy his beer. He's my godfather (GOOD choice Mom and Dad!), and he's given approximately 1000php over the last ten years. That's about 100 pesos every year - 50 pesos for my birthday and 50 pesos for Christmas. AND NOW, he wants me to help his darling daughter to get into the BS Bio program in UP Manila.
I told him that Nicole should get at least 1.5 in all her subjects, and he said that she only gets 2s - well, sorry na lang sya! A lot of people want to get into Bio, and I don't think she can make the cut if she has lower grades than her competitors. So he said that she could still try shifting to the Bio program in Diliman instead, and if I could help her do it. FUCK HER! FUCK HIM!!!! Anong gusto nya, pumunta pa ako ng Diliman para lang tulungan ung Puñetang makapasok sa Bio dun, e magji-jeep lang naman sya nasa Bio na sya - tiga Diliman din naman sya, lilipat lang sya ng building, ano bang kaputahan yan!!! Is she really that incompetent? I mean, she and her sister (plus their abnormally tall 10 year-old brother) are really sheltered, but hello!!! After they eat, they don't clear their plates, and yung mga tita ko pa ang nagliligpit ng pinagkainan nila - kapal ng muka! Di na nahiya, naki-kain na nga sila, pagkatapos, umupo na lang sa gilid at nagpa-cute, as if no! Magtigil kayong magkapatid, muka kayong mga maid!!! I'm not kidding, I haven't seen them for years, when they were kids they were cute (except for the older one, matagal nang pangit un!), but when I saw them last year, my gosh! Alam nyo ung itsura ng maid na bagong luwas sa Manila? Ganon sila! Blank faces, icky fashion sense, and all!
And these kids have it all! Pampering parents na konting tantrum lang, e tapon agad ng salapi! As I wrote before, my stupid uncle gave them 10,000php just so they could go on a shopping-spree, dios me! Ang spoiled na nga, ang tatanga pa rin! Buti na lang magaling magpalaki ng anak ang Mommy ko - yun nga lang, namana ko sa kanya ung katarayan ko (sa Dada ko rin, masungit din un e!). I don;'t take orders from people I don't respect, kaya pesteng tito, magligpit ka ng pinagkainan mo no! AND STOP SMOKING IN THE HOUSE!!!! Lahat ng tao dito may asthma, my God, how inconsiderate can you be???
And the weird thing is, he's a giant coward! He's almost 6 feet tall, but he will NOT enter my brother's room because Benedict has pictures of Slipknot in it - wearing creepy masks! Because of this, I have to share my room with him! So my room also smells like yosi and beer! Kakainis talaga! I just changed my sheets, now I have to change them again, not to mention I have to douse the entire room with my strongest aroma-therapy scents to get rid of any after-smell!
Over dinner he was telling how he couldn't find my door's knob, and he really had to pee so he just opened the window and peed there! YUCK!!!!!!!!!! Thank the Gods I'm a pretty sound sleeper, if I had woken up I would have screamed and been really grossed out!!! YUCK talaga!!! I mean, how uncivilized can you be, even if you're a stupid drunk?!?!
He also doesn't like to sleep without lights - ang duwag talaga!!! Dios me!!! Sorry na lang sya, I embrace the darkness... mas takot ang multo sa kin dahil tinatarayan ko sila. I swear, one time, I felt like there were other things in my room, I got up and yelled at them - Alis, kwarto ko to, lumipat kayo sa iba, puñeta! - nawala sila. ^_^ The only time I got really scarred was when I saw my Dad, kasi suot nya ung pang-burol nya! hihihihi!
The only good thing about my uncle's being here is that he brought crabs with him... and I love crabs! As far as I know, I'm the only person on this planet who can eat an entire crab using a spoon and a fork - everyone else I know uses their hands. It's a talent, what can I say? ^_^ Sana ganon na lang palagi - magdadala si tito dito ng crabs, tapos aalis na agad sya, para masaya ang mga buhay buhay namin dito (and by namin, I mean me!).
I woke up at 5:30 this morning becase I had classes at 8:30 and it usually takes me an hour++ to take a bath and dress up, and another hour to get to school (the remaining 30-45 minutes, I spend at the department checking papers >.<). He woke up at around five, and by the time I got upstairs, he was already on his 3rd (?) cigarette and three-quarters of his way down his first bottle of beer! MY GOD! At 5:30 in the morning on a typical day, this old man has already drunk and smoked what I drink and smoke over the course of a year!
In addition to this, he asks me and my brother to buy his beer for him - my booger brother has to go down 5 storeys just to buy it for him! The nerve! And he is soooooooooo spoiled he doesn't clean up after himself. He eats supper really late and he called me just so I could clear his plates for him! THE NERVE!!!! Inirapan ko nga!
And he keeps smoking those dreadful cigarettes inside the house, so the entire third floor smells like a fucking bar during happy hour! I couldn't stand it! I stood from the couch (while watching Desperate Housewives) and opened the door so, at least, some relatively fresh air could come into the house. When he remarked that I left the door open, I looked at my mom and said I couldn't breathe! I've been sort of ill the past month, I've been coughing steadily (as my Echoes co-members and students would be able to note clearly), and my condition's only started to improve the past weekend. Now, my asthma is back, and my breathing is shallow again - translation: I CANNOT SING!!!!!!!!!!! WAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!! And my uncle had the guts to pretend as if he didn't notice I had been coughing the entire night! AS IF!!! Ganoon ka ba talaga ka-tanga?? I mean, I know you failed the Law Bar Exams twice, (count that TWICE! 2x! Not just once, TWO (2) Times!!!), but really?
I swear, there is something extremely wrong about this person. He is stingy as hell, he wouldn't give my brother pamasahe to buy his beer. He's my godfather (GOOD choice Mom and Dad!), and he's given approximately 1000php over the last ten years. That's about 100 pesos every year - 50 pesos for my birthday and 50 pesos for Christmas. AND NOW, he wants me to help his darling daughter to get into the BS Bio program in UP Manila.
I told him that Nicole should get at least 1.5 in all her subjects, and he said that she only gets 2s - well, sorry na lang sya! A lot of people want to get into Bio, and I don't think she can make the cut if she has lower grades than her competitors. So he said that she could still try shifting to the Bio program in Diliman instead, and if I could help her do it. FUCK HER! FUCK HIM!!!! Anong gusto nya, pumunta pa ako ng Diliman para lang tulungan ung Puñetang makapasok sa Bio dun, e magji-jeep lang naman sya nasa Bio na sya - tiga Diliman din naman sya, lilipat lang sya ng building, ano bang kaputahan yan!!! Is she really that incompetent? I mean, she and her sister (plus their abnormally tall 10 year-old brother) are really sheltered, but hello!!! After they eat, they don't clear their plates, and yung mga tita ko pa ang nagliligpit ng pinagkainan nila - kapal ng muka! Di na nahiya, naki-kain na nga sila, pagkatapos, umupo na lang sa gilid at nagpa-cute, as if no! Magtigil kayong magkapatid, muka kayong mga maid!!! I'm not kidding, I haven't seen them for years, when they were kids they were cute (except for the older one, matagal nang pangit un!), but when I saw them last year, my gosh! Alam nyo ung itsura ng maid na bagong luwas sa Manila? Ganon sila! Blank faces, icky fashion sense, and all!
And these kids have it all! Pampering parents na konting tantrum lang, e tapon agad ng salapi! As I wrote before, my stupid uncle gave them 10,000php just so they could go on a shopping-spree, dios me! Ang spoiled na nga, ang tatanga pa rin! Buti na lang magaling magpalaki ng anak ang Mommy ko - yun nga lang, namana ko sa kanya ung katarayan ko (sa Dada ko rin, masungit din un e!). I don;'t take orders from people I don't respect, kaya pesteng tito, magligpit ka ng pinagkainan mo no! AND STOP SMOKING IN THE HOUSE!!!! Lahat ng tao dito may asthma, my God, how inconsiderate can you be???
And the weird thing is, he's a giant coward! He's almost 6 feet tall, but he will NOT enter my brother's room because Benedict has pictures of Slipknot in it - wearing creepy masks! Because of this, I have to share my room with him! So my room also smells like yosi and beer! Kakainis talaga! I just changed my sheets, now I have to change them again, not to mention I have to douse the entire room with my strongest aroma-therapy scents to get rid of any after-smell!
Over dinner he was telling how he couldn't find my door's knob, and he really had to pee so he just opened the window and peed there! YUCK!!!!!!!!!! Thank the Gods I'm a pretty sound sleeper, if I had woken up I would have screamed and been really grossed out!!! YUCK talaga!!! I mean, how uncivilized can you be, even if you're a stupid drunk?!?!
He also doesn't like to sleep without lights - ang duwag talaga!!! Dios me!!! Sorry na lang sya, I embrace the darkness... mas takot ang multo sa kin dahil tinatarayan ko sila. I swear, one time, I felt like there were other things in my room, I got up and yelled at them - Alis, kwarto ko to, lumipat kayo sa iba, puñeta! - nawala sila. ^_^ The only time I got really scarred was when I saw my Dad, kasi suot nya ung pang-burol nya! hihihihi!
The only good thing about my uncle's being here is that he brought crabs with him... and I love crabs! As far as I know, I'm the only person on this planet who can eat an entire crab using a spoon and a fork - everyone else I know uses their hands. It's a talent, what can I say? ^_^ Sana ganon na lang palagi - magdadala si tito dito ng crabs, tapos aalis na agad sya, para masaya ang mga buhay buhay namin dito (and by namin, I mean me!).
posted by Mikee @ 11:46 PM
2 Comments:
At 9/21/2005 9:38 AM,
Boom said…
i know the feeling. an uncle stayed with us for two whole months! imagine! and he was just bumming around the house, not helping around, eating all the food, that kind of shite. threw him out of the house just two weeks ago. hard, but necessary.
At 9/22/2005 9:22 AM,
mickey said…
Tae 'na.. mas natawa ako sa blog mo kaysa sa akala kong nakakatawang blog ko.. hahahahahahaha! praning ang shet, aliw ah, sarap i-murder sa isip ng tito mo, sana crabs na lang siya.. umihi sa bintana, paano yung mga patak, nasaan ang mga PATAK!??? hahahahaha! gagu nga.. na-imajin ko lang, baka kung anong damit mo pinampahid niya sa patak.. hahahahah! and si boom din pala, yung tennis players niyang tito, bumsters din, hahahaha! benta to! tripping lang, bili ka ng sleeping pills, lagyan mo yung beer, isang tablet lang per night ha! baka matuluyan yan ng sleep, para di na matulog sa room mo, sa tabi2x na lang babagsak na yan.. hahahah! sa first beer mo lagay or second, para sa third tablan agad ng mabilis! hahahahahah!
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