Vissi d'arte

from lullaby to requiem

Wednesday, August 03, 2005

I like him, but he's not into me... the story of my life...

They say that it;'s the hardest, and most painful feeling in the world: Being in love with someone, and waiting for him to love you back... I'm watching Oprah right now, and that's not really what they're discussing - one guest mentioned it in passing, but that's what caught my attention.

Anyway... it really is the story of my life. I've had lots of BIG crushes on guys, (I don't know, maybe even in love with them), and , and waiting just to see what happens... But I disagree that it's a painful feeling. I can think of other more painful feelings - like the state I find myself in today: Disbelief. I do not believe in love, and I am not afraid to say it. Then again... I don't feel any pain or hurt from this feeling, so maybe they are right, unrequited love is so much more difficult than not believing in love. I'm rambling, I know, but hey, who cares?

I am such a drama queen!!! I know I don't believe in love, but I'm still secretly hoping for it... or am I??? Right now, I don't feel sad or depressed, unlike several months ago when just the thought of being single made me want to eat more Kitkats and Pringles. Today, I don't really care that I don't have a boyfriend, or that I might never have one.

I attribute this certain sense of happiness (or at least, the lack of sadness) to my other dreams: I am a teacher, and I've always wanted to be one. I also want to go to the Ateneo to take my MA, then I'm planning to go abroad and find teaching positions maybe in the States or in Europe. I'm really too busy to even think of boyfriends - although most of my jokes have "hanap mo ko ng boypren' as punchlines. The only times I really feel like I want a boyfriend is at night, just before I got to sleep - but then, Dan puts me to sleep pretty fastly (and soundly too, *wink wink).

Teka: Hey mambo, mambo Italiano, go go Joe, you mixed up Siciliano.. with matching dance moves. hihi!

Hihi! Anyway, where was I???? I forgot na... whatever, basta! On to other news!!! It's my birthday tomorow! WEEE!!! Wala akong handa!! hihihi! Wala pa kami sweldo T_T Tsaka na lang cguro, sabay na sa despedida ni Darcylicious. hihihih!

Still other news: I'm wearing glasses na!!!!! WAAAAAAAAAA!!! Muka ako nerd!!! WAAAAAA!!!! Nahihilo-hilo pa ako, my eyes are still trying to adjust, pero cute sya, brown ung rims - kaso nga lang, they hide my gorgeous eyelashes and my lovely eyes! hihihi! Anyway: wala na ko masabi, buh-bye!!!

My posts are getting boring, baka madisappoint si JC! hihihi! ^_^

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